i just wanna soil my oats bro
Kareoke will never be a sober sport
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Randomize
