New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
