she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
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