As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Randomize
