i think i have two assholes
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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