We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
