oh god the rape fog is back!
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
