Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
When did angry sex become our thing?
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Randomize
