is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
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