guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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