he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Randomize
