shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
