either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
