Sry I called you an 8
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
