I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
