tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
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