Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
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