had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
Randomize
