I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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