You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize