can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
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