btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
