We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
