I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Randomize
