singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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