now i know why i became what i already was.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
