i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
She bit a glass in half.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
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