I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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