i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
