let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
he fucked my hip out of place.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Randomize