I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
