Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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