the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Randomize
