You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
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