Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
