I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
Randomize
