It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Randomize
