So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Randomize
