i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Randomize
