normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
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