YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
time to smoke my breakfast
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Randomize
