Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Randomize
