Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
