At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
