Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize