He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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