We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
