u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
