We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
