I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
