just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Text me some of your sweat
Randomize
