I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
