who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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