there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
