Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
I haven't been this sober since birth.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Randomize
