If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Randomize
