Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
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