3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
