Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
cat food counts as protein by the way
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
