I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
