TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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