Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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