I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize