Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
it's not cheating when I paid for it
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
